


He died instead of me.

by Leethefish



Category: Persona 5, persona - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Gen, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 07:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14350851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leethefish/pseuds/Leethefish
Summary: What if Akira took cognitive Akechi's offer of someone dying and taking Akechi's place to prolong his life?





	1. Shutters.

**Author's Note:**

> BE WARNED. THE PROTAGONIST WAS WRITTEN WITH THE NAME AKIRA, AS THAT IS HOW I PREFERRED WRITING. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. (also the fact I can't spell his new last name but thats beside the point.)

“JOK-“

Gunshots went off behind the shutter doors. Akechi was already on the floor, whereas everyone else was in shock. The phantom thieves lost a leader, Akechi lost a lover, They all lost a friend. Akechi heard Makoto walking to him, then putting her hand on his shoulder. None of them knew what to do… at all. The first person to start crying was Ryuji, he burst into hysterical tears. Then Haru, then Ann… in due time, everyone was crying at least a little.

After the cognitive Akechi showed up… well, Akira pushed Akechi out of the way, ending up on the wrong side of the shutters that Akechi had set off. The shutters came down quick, no one could have opened them in that amount of time. Not even Futaba. Akechi kept trying and trying to bargain his own life so that Akira wouldn’t die, but it was all to no avail, as a few minutes later, two gunshots where heard, and the shutters wouldn’t budge. The last words Akira said were “Change Shido for me, alright? I trust you guys, you can do it.” Akechi was distraught. It was his fault, wasn’t it?

Morgana let out a feline sob, as he tried to speak. “C-Cr-“ Akechi cut him off, not for the fact that he was too upset to talk, more the fact he didn’t want to be reminded of his codename from the previous mission.  
“Just… d-don’t speak to me…” Akechi tried to stand up, but fell back down, his wounds getting to him. Ann shakily spoke up, knowing no one else was likely to. “W-w-we need to go… we need to go back…” Everyone nodded in a scary unison, as Yusuke and Ann dragged Akechi to his feet, only for him to let out a small shout. “Lets just keep g-going… That’s what J-joker… thats… What he would have… wanted, r-right?” He let go of the others’ grip as he kept limping. He didn’t know how he felt. He couldn’t even describe it in words. Everyone went in front of him, except for Makoto, who stayed a little closer to Akechi. Futaba constantly kept looking back to make sure they were both okay, then kept walking. Once they got so far, Morgana sighed a little, before quietly speaking. “We… can’t go any further… we have to go back..” 

In unison, everyone nodded, knowing that none of them could do anything. Everyone but Akechi nodded. Morgana noticed this, due to him being the main focus. “Crow…I… I mean Akechi… sorry… W-why aren’t-“   
Akechi rose his voice to a loud, monstrous tone. “Just let me stay here alright?!”   
Morgana was taken aback by the loud shouting, as he carefully nodded, as him and the rest of the Phantom Thieves left. Left Akechi in the palace of his own father. Akechi carefully retraced his steps, the groups steps, until he got back to the shutters. He saw the switch at the other side of the room, and tried his hardest to stop shaking, and shoot the switch again. It was no use. The shutters wouldn’t open, and Akechi was left, sat with his back against a shutter, which concealed a dead body.

Akechi felt his body starting to shutdown. He wanted to stay by that shutter until the others came back. No. He didn’t want to be associated with them. They got the one person who accepted him killed… right? No matter how much he tried to get this idea through his head, he kept going back to the thought that it was his fault. He was the traitor. He got THEIR leader killed. He shouldn’t have let him push him out of the way. Everything that happened was his fault. He felt tears running down his face. Thinking about it really didn’t help. After what seemed like years, Akechi decided to leave. He couldn’t bear the pain anymore.

He was back… back home. No “Welcome to Leblanc.” This was his apartment. The place where he lives. Alone. He sat there. In silence… Until his phone started to buzz. It was the stupid group chat. Why? Why did they think it was okay to message him after everything that happened!? Besides his better judgement, he picked up the phone, and read back through the conversation. I guess they probably forgot he existed. He was unwanted by them anyway, why would they care?

[Makoto Najimma]  
[Has anyone heard from Akechi-Kun?]

[Ryuji Sakamoto]  
[Nope… Nothing since the palace.]

[Ann Takamaki]  
[I just… hope he’s okay… I think it hit him a lot harder than he was letting on…]

[Yusuke Kitagawa]  
[Agreed…]

[Last message sent at 19:27]

Akechi felt his tears again. Why did they even care how he was? A few moments before… it happened… they were trying to kill him. Why did they care so much? It wasn’t fair. Then again, even they knew this fact.

The world is never fair.


	2. Visits aren't the greatest when taken with a hint of bitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp,, It's chapter 2 and this is the last notes I'm putting. I'm just going to bulk post this,,

Akechi was still sat in his apartment hours after IT happened. He was calming down from crying, but was now having to cope with the more destructive thoughts… and consequences.

His thought track was interrupted by a small knock on his door. He looked carefully out of the window, only to see Makoto in a blue coat. How did she find where he liv- It then hit him that her sister would know where he lives, due to them working together a decent amount. He didn’t stand up, causing Makoto to only knock on the door louder. He looked at the clock. It was 22:34! Why was she here this late?

Akechi finally decided to open the door, his eyes red and puffy. Makoto frowned, only before quickly hugging him. “I’m… Sorry Akechi-kun… it wa-“  
“Yes it was. It was all my fault. Every bit of it. I should have died Makoto… its my fault… its… its…” Akechi started to cry again. God, he was a mess. Makoto tried to help him calm down, her eyes welling up too. She carefully pulled away from the hug, quietly asking, “Is it okay if I come in?” Akechi nodded, carefully walking back in, curling up on the couch.

Akechi was wearing his normal uniform, he couldn’t be bothered to get changed out of it. Whereas, Makoto was wearing a simple cardigan and T-shirt under her coat. She sat down across from Akechi, sighing as she wiped her eyes. “Akechi-kun… we… we’re planning to hold a funeral for Akira… It would be private, only the Phantom Thieves, Sojiro, Mishimia, my sister…” She wiped her eyes again, as Akechi sat curled up against the corner of the couch. “They… know what happened… We haven’t told his parents yet… I think Sojiro is planning to lie by saying that Akira w-wanted to stay here…” 

Akechi rubbed his eyes. “Why are you telling me this… no one wants to see me… I… I was… was the one who… who got him killed…” Makoto sighed a little, shaking her head. “I… I don’t think anyone is angry with you because of what happened… not that I know of anyway… I’m sorry Akechi..” Akechi accidentally shouted, just like he did in the palace. “Can you stop saying sorry!? Sorry won’t bring him back!” Makoto sat back, sighing. “I… don’t think now is a good time… I’ll go… Goodbye Akechi-Kun… Ill talk to you at a later point.” She stood up, putting her coat back on, before waving as she left. Akechi cursed himself under his breath. That would most likely be his only face to face contact for a while.

He looked at the time again, realising how late it was. This time though, He didn’t care. All he cared about was trying to find anything that belonged to Akira… There HAD to be something of his here. He shakily went into his room, looking at the neat room, bed made, closet all neat… god, where did he find the time to do this? He wouldn’t have cared if it was an absolute mess now. Akechi looked through his closet, trying to find the clothes Akira left here from his many times of staying over. He felt tears again as he pulled out a single jacket. An old Shujin Academy blazer. Akechi clung to the jacket like no tomorrow. For all he knew, that could be the last thing he ever had of Akira. 

After taking off his uniform, Akechi sat, just wearing the blazer and some boxers, curled up in some blankets. All he could think of was the piercing sound of the bullet being shot, Akira’s body hitting the ground, everything. His eyes were full of tears as he went into a restless sleep. A sleep full of a dream he didn’t know if he wanted to stay in the dream or leave it.

The dream took place in LeBlanc. Akira was behind the counter… like normal. Morgana was at Akechi’s feet… Like normal. Everything seemed so normal. So nice. So peaceful. Until Akira came over to Akechi, smiling weakly. “Honey, I’m home… heh…” Akechi managed a smile. “Y-you’re… awfully… late.” If he could, Akechi would have stayed right there. But this wasn’t a dream he had control over, as soon as he felt safe, the scene switched. It was that stupid shutter room again. Akechi tried to wake up, he didn’t want to go through this again, but his body wouldn’t wake up. He felt tears going down his face, as he once again heard Akira’s voice.  
“Hey... don’t cry... it’s all okay... they don’t hate you... I lo-“  
Akira was cut off by a gunshot. A gunshot that snapped Akechi out of his dream, only for him to realise how much he had been crying. In a weak and frail voice, he whispered to himself, as if someone was with him.

“I love you too...”


	3. Memory Subway.

“Good m... oh... y-you aren’t here... are you...” Akechi sighed, wiping his eyes again. He looked at the clock... god, it was already 11:09. He had been up since 4am due to that damn dream.   
He carefully got out of bed, the blazer still wrapped around him. All that went through his head whilst looking in the mirror was how horrid and disheveled he looked. There was dark bags under his eyes, tinged with a hint of pink, sore flesh from tissues and his hands. He had cried so much in the past few days, it was embarrassing how badly he had controlled his emotion and mood.

Slowly and begrudgingly, Akechi took off the blazer as he got in the shower, slowly going through what would normally be a twenty minute routine. He got out of the shower in silence, getting a towel and drying his hair. Every single action felt hollow and empty, everything reminding him of Akira. Why wouldn’t he get out of his head? As he brushed his teeth, he looked in the mirror again, half expecting to see Akira coming up behind him to “Surprise him”. But that silly fantasy was obliterated, due to the whole fact that Akechi remembered that Akira was dead. He got shot. He died because Akechi was too selfish to stop him from pushing him out of the way.

After eating a dry piece of toast, Akechi pulled the blazer over himself again. He wished that it wasn’t just the blazer. He wished it was Akira hugging him. He wished that Akira was there to wake him up. To see him out. To be there. Akechi shook his head, knowing that everything he was thinking was absolutely ridiculous. He pulled a larger coat over the blazer, leaving his apartment and locking the door behind him. Walking around made him feel empty, exposed, hollow. Every small thing reminded him of some silly mundane thing, maybe just a simple holding of hands, or a small silly joke. Akechi felt like he was choking on air. He felt like he was suffocating.

Head down, Akechi made his way to the subway station, trying to stop the memories of when he wasn’t alone from flooding his mind. Waiting for the train took what felt like years, everyone who looked even similar to Akira brought back more memories. As soon as the train arrived, he quickly got on, trying to ignore everyone else. every time he heard a murmur, he thought they were talking about him. He was a celebrity after all. Keyword; WAS. Then, he heard an extremely… no, too familiar voice.   
“Is that ‘Kechi?”  
“I think so… should we try talk to him?”

Akechi started to shake, knowing who it was. It was Ryuji and Ann. He couldn’t face them right now, not after everything. He looked up, seeing that the train was about to stop. Even though he didn’t know what stop he was getting off at, he knew that Sae would most likely already know about whats happened, she wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t at work… hopefully. He waited again, then quickly made a dash for the train door. After stepping off the train, he realised where he was.  
The train stop was the stop him and Akira would get off when they went to LeBlanc.  
He cursed himself again. Why was everything “Akira this” or “Akira that”. Why did everything bring back memories he didn’t want to remember? He quickly ran out of the subway station. He wanted to try one place. Even thought he knew he wouldn’t be welcomed. Ever again.

The breeze was cool and dry. Everything… Everyone seemed so peaceful, yet he knew he was most likely going to ruin someone else’s peace. He walked down the streets he knew so well. The streets he wished he could forget. But that would be impossible. Akechi closed in on the entrance to LeBlanc, his coat wrapped tightly around his shivering body. As soon as he got to the outside of LeBlanc, he took a deep breath, and carefully pushed open the door.

“Welcome to Leblanc Akechi-kun…”


	4. Coffee with some anger, Please ad thank you.

It was Futaba. Akechi looked down to the floor, staying in the doorway, until Futaba spoke up. “Come in, I’m not angry or anything…”   
Akechi sighed silently, muttering under his breath, “Even though it was my fault that your “Brother” died…”   
Futaba looked up, her head tilted. “You say something? I swear I he-“  
“No, must have been the wind… Sorry.” Akechi sat down on one of the stools near the counter, the place he would normally sit. Nothing had changed, but the whole atmosphere felt… different. More solemn, there was less life in the place… obviously.  
Futaba had her hair tied into a low ponytail, and was wearing the classic army green apron that Akira would have been wearing if this was a normal day. But it wasn’t. Today, instead of being greeted by a warm smile, or a hug, or if he was extremely lucky, a quick kiss, he was greeted by a grief stricken Futaba. She sighed, passing him a small cup of coffee as she started to speak.   
“So… are you okay?” Her tone sounded drained, like she had pulled an all nighter. When akechi thought about it more, she probably did, but now, because of him, she couldn’t just sleep durning the day.  
“I… guess…” Akechi tried to keep his sentences short, the longer he thought, the more likely he was going to end up bringing up some dumb memory he didn’t want to remember. He took a small sip of the coffee, shocked by the fact it was his usual.  
Futaba gave a small weak smile as she saw Akechi drinking the coffee. “Did I get it right? Hopefully…”   
Akechi tried to give a small smile back, but it was clearly forced. “Yeah… its right… may I ask, even though my hypothesis is probably right… Why are you working? I thought you just stayed in your room most of the time…”  
Futaba sighed weakly. “I’m doing it to help out… its hard on the shop if only one person is working…” She looked away, rubbing her nose with her sleeve. “I don’t particularly like working here… Like you said, I would defiantly rather be in my room.”  
Akechi frowned, quietly speaking. “I’m sorry…”  
Futaba looked taken aback, then quickly patted Akechi on the shoulder. “Hey, it wasn’t your fault… Okay? Trust me on that… I-“   
Futaba was cut off by a large creak, which diverged her and Akechi’s attention to the stairs. Sat on the stairs, not so shockingly, was Morgana. He looked pretty surprised, well, as surprised as a cat can look when he saw Akechi.   
“Akechi? You’re here?” He said quietly, swiftly moving down the stairs, then jumping onto a stool.   
Futaba glared at Morgana slightly, only for Akechi to start speaking again. “Please… don’t fight… but yes, I’m here… I didn’t… I couldn’t stay in the palace for long… I… I couldn’t…” Akechi quickly took his sleeve, rubbing his face. Both Morgana and Futaba realised he was getting upset again, and tried to figure out how to help him out.

All three f them tried to talk about more lighthearted subjects, until they heard the door swing open. Ryuji came into the cafe, and quickly one over to Akechi, only to be pulled back by Ann. “Ryuji, we came here on terms that you weren’t going to attack him.”   
Ryuji cocked his head towards Ann, seemingly quite agitated. “He got Akira killed! Aren’t you angry with him for that? Why is everyone so ‘effing soft and forgiving him? He should have died, not Akira! At least Akira didn’t kill people!”  
Akechi’s fists were balled, more in an attempt to not cry. He didn’t want to be reminded of what he did, that would be the last thing he would ever want to be reminded of. “Ryuji… I… I’m sorry, alright? I know what I did and I done need some stupid idiot to reconfirm that everyone hates me and the fact I should have died!” Akechi quickly covered his mouth. He just let rip at Ryuji, just like he did Morgana, and Makoto. He cursed himself silently under his breath, before quickly standing up. “I… I’m going. T-thank you for the coffee… Goodbye.” He quickly re-adjusted his coat, then ran out of the shop. 

As he left, he turned, only to see Ann holding Ryuji back. Akechi thought to himself, “Maybe I should have let him take out his anger on me, it probably would have had a better outcome than me leaving…”   
He looked around, then quickly pulled out his phone, calling a taxi. He couldn’t deal going on the subway again. As he stood and waited, he looked at how peaceful the world was. For some reason, it made his blood boil, why did they get to be happy? After everything Akira had… no. He stopped himself from thinking that way as the taxi pulled up beside him. HE got in, going on his phone again, and texting Sae.

[Goro Akechi]  
[Hello Sae-san, I’m very sorry for not turning up today, things have been quite rough over the past few days, would it be okay if I called you in around 20 minutes?]

Sae responded oddly fast, but Akechi didn’t mind. It made him feel more at ease that she replied so fast.

[Sae Niijimma]  
[It’s alright, Makoto hasn’t been acting herself as of the last few days either. And I believe I’m free, so yes, feel free to call me.]

[Goro Akechi]  
[Thank you…]


	5. Phone calls up the pain.

Everything was so… quiet. Once again, Akechi was sat, alone, in his apartment. He held his phone in his hand, shaking more and more each second. Akechi took a deep breath, then tapped on Sae’s contact. He needed to talk to someone, but he couldn’t stand being around an actual person.

“Hello?”  
“Akechi? Are you there?”  
“…Yeah… I’m here…”  
Sae’s voice was calm, almost soothing, but Akechi could easily hear the under tone of sadness of her voice. She kept speaking almost in a whisper. “I… I know what happened… I’m-“  
“Please… Please don’t apologise.” Akechi quickly covered his mouth, even though no one could see. He didn’t want to snap at Sae, he just hated people saying sorry for something that no one can change.  
Akechi took another breath, trying to keep his composure, and started to speak. “Look… I’m really sorry I wasn’t in work… everything just got too much and I got off at the wrong stop and I couldn’t stand being in the station and-“  
“Its okay, I already told work that you wouldn’t be in. They’re letting you off on leave for as long as you need.”   
Akechi took a small breath, calming himself down. Once again, he was getting those stupid memories. “…Thank you.” Akechi quickly held picked up the phone, ending the call.  
For fucks sake.  
Why wouldn’t the stupid memories go away?  
He didn’t want to be reminded of him.  
It wasn’t fair.

He sat in silence for a few minutes, until his phone began to buzz.  
Sae was calling him.   
Akechi closed his eyes, waiting for the buzzing to stop. He didn’t want to speak, he didn’t need more people worrying about someone as useless as him. Everything that went wrong was his fault. The only person who seems to actually understand that was Ryuji. He wished deep down that everyone was like Ryuji, and that they weren’t so caring. He didn’t need their affection. He never did.  
Right?  
His phone began to buzz again, this time, it was Makoto. Akechi still dint pick up the phone, he really didn’t want to have to talk to anyone, seeing as calling Sae was hard enough for him. He curled up into a small ball on his couch, his arms wrapped tightly around his chest. Akechi forced the tears back, he didn’t want to cry anymore. Crying was a horrid feeling. It made him feel weak.

“Hey, Akechi! Why are you taking up all of the couch? At least give me a bit of room!” Akira whined jokingly, as he cuddled up closer to Akechi.   
“Personal space! MY Personal space!” Akechi laughed slightly, knowing that this was a stupid argument, but it always felt satisfying to win one of these types of fights.  
“If I was sat there right now, I would let you have as much space as you want!”  
“Well, isn’t that what you’re doing by sitting right at the edge? You’re letting me have all the space I want!” Akechi let out a small laugh, as Akira cuddled up even closer to him.   
“But, I’m the one who’s asking you to move, so really, you’re incorrect Mr Ace Detective.”  
“Shut up you..”  
“No.”

 

Akechi quickly curled into a tighter ball, feeling his eyes well up. He hated how much these memories hurt. They felt like iron rods burning into his skin, destroying him piece by piece. He wanted to get out of this reality. He didn’t want to be here. Akira died with all Akechi’s secrets in tow. He felt the prickling tears rolling down his face again. He hated himself more and more each tear that fell down his face, each sob that wracked his body. Akechi didn’t even like being this vulnerable around people, it defiantly made him feel worse when he was on his own.

His last memories of that night were curled up in a ball of tears on his couch.


	6. Boxes are oddly emotive.

Days went so slowly now.  
Mostly, they would just consist of Akechi forcing himself to go out and do things to distract himself, then he would return home and do nothing, or sometimes watch whatever random stuff was on TV. Sae hadn’t called for a few days, but Makoto seemed to come over more often than he thought she would. They had an extremely weird sort of friendship… it was almost sibling like.

Everything was so normal. That was what scared Akechi the most. Everyone said that deaths of loved ones made everything so different, but it didn’t. Even though he knew this, he wished that it was different. He felt more comfortable that there was something, even if it was just a little thing, if SOMETHING was different, it gave him a false sense of security. Akechi cursed himself for this, but never stopped doing this.

A small knock was heard at Akechi’s door, which stopped him from reading his book, one of the only things that helped him keep calm these days. He stood up slowly, taking deep shaking breaths as he went to the door. Shakily, he put is hand on the door handle, opening it slowly, only to slightly jump back when it wasn’t Makoto at the door. Instead, standing at the door, was Futaba, Morgana in her arms. She gave a small weak smile, as she spoke quietly. “Can I come in? I brought something…” Akechi nodded a little, opening the door so Futaba could come in.

As she came in, she held a decently large box in her arms, Morgana clinging around her legs. Futaba placed the box down, and quickly made herself comfortable on the couch. “So… how are you, I guess?”   
Akechi let out a small sigh, but gave a very weak smile. “Decent. Everything just goes really slow, thats all… you?”  
Futaba shrugged a little, nodding. “Same way, Morgana’s been keeping me company… anyway, I came over to show you this box… I think this is something you’ll like…”  
Akechi gave a small head tilt as Futaba handed him the box. She gave him a small nod, telling him to open it. As he opened the box, a small smile grew on his face as his eyes welled up. It was all of Akira’s stuff.  
Futaba gave him a little cheeky smile, “Do you like it?”  
Akechi nodded, quickly and carefully putting the box down before giving Futaba a tight hug, which comforted them both. “T-thank you so… so much…” The box had made him feel a little more at peace, and he knew Futaba understood that. Akechi pulled away from the hug, as he started to carefully take things out of the box. There was a few different pieces of clothing in there, and his bag at the bottom.  
Futaba smiled a little, as she looked down to Morgana, “There’s another thing too… Would it be okay if Morgana stayed with you? I feel like it could help you a little…”  
Akechi gave a small nod, still looking at what was in the box. Everything felt a bit better as he held that box in his arms. Morgana was already asleep on a cushion on the floor, pretty odd for him, Akechi thought.

Akechi and Futaba spent some time together, talking about what was in the box, before Futaba had to go back home. As she left, she said goodbye to Akechi, and gave Morgana some tuna. After the door closed, Akechi took a bit more time to look through the box. He hadn’t realised while Futaba was there, but there was some clothes that he had lent Akira. He chuckled weakly to himself, even though he knew the truth deep down, that this was a permeant reminder that Akira wasn’t coming back. He closed the box, promising himself he would unpack it the next day.

He went through his normal nightly routine, trying to keep calm, before putting on the regular blazer. This night? It didn’t feel as heavy on him, nor did it feel like he was doing something wrong by wearing it. Before he laid down, he turned on his phone, clicking on Akira’s contact. He wrote one single message.

[Goro Akechi}  
[I love you.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet thanks for reading wow this was too short whoops ill try make new stuff idk

**Author's Note:**

> So uh hi, first story huh. This is a fictional I made a few months ago, but yeaaaaaa. anyway, enjoy me having a bit of fun and making myself sad.


End file.
